Dear People Like Us,
     I'm a white male.  The women I work with are black females.  Recently they were looking at these pictures where black people had on some of the most outrageous outfits.  I mean cutoff stomach holes because you're pregnant.  I made the comment, "Some people have no taste and less sense."  My co-workers had said a lot worse than that but they said I'm not allowed to make those kinds of comments.  I told them "If I can't say anything about black people they can't make comments on George Bush."  Now they treat me with the silent treatment. I think an apology is in order.  I don't understand what I did wrong, nor how to act the next time something black is funny.  We laugh about Dave Chappelle, what's the difference?  Somebody needs to write a book on black'ese because whites have no clue what's right and what's wrong.  And we don't have these issues with Hispanics or Asians.

Signed, Clueless

Dear Clueless,
     We're clueless.  How did George Bush get into this?  Was he posing for some of the fashions?  Who'd a guessed he was a closet cross-dresser?
     Certainly you are welcome to your fashion opinions, and if the ladies took you into their circle and asked for your commentary (did they?) then they should be open to your observations, positive or not.

    One would hope that you would have the "good taste and more sense" not to be offensive in your comments, especially if you were not asked to participate.  So, you may want to review your rhetoric before condemning your co-workers.
     The book you requested?  Not necessary.  Just use common sense.  If one criticizes harshly then be prepared to receive the same.  And why has this become a racial issue?   It's about tact and diplomacy; men and women; throwing in your two cents, invited or not.  This is not about George Bush and Dave Chappelle.  Hey, now there's a ticket!  But we digress.
    Is it possible your fashion observations were delivered in a less than thoughtful and more biased manner? If so, perhaps you might want to apologize to the ladies. Doing so will reflect your willingness to be part of the "girlfriend" circle and not the arbiter of all things appropriate according to what you think is appropriate.  And believe us, it's worth the effort.  We Divas subscribe to the philosophy that if ever there is to be peace on earth then we must all... " let it begin with me."

Dear People Like Us:
Why do white folks hair smell like wet dogs and is there any product to keep them from shedding over everything?
Signed, Dog Gone                   

                                           
Dear Dog Gone:
Where or where has your little nose been?  This sounds like a "Karen" question, sooo?

Having spent my life around many a white person as well as many a dog, horse, cat and occasional rabbit, I understand your query about the smell factor.  Yup, I have smelled that smell, but only on my boyfriend after a 10K run.

There could be a variety of reasons: sweat mixing with bacteria on the surface of the skin, which releases its secretion into the hair follicle, or diet (my boyfriend, for example, had consumed garlic) or one's own unique olfactory (how odor molecules trigger nerve impulses from the receptor cell to the brain).

As for the shedding, we all shed.  A close shave may help the obvious, but that little stubble will eventually find it's way off the body as the new growth phase begins.  It's the nature of all humans unless they go for electrolysis.

But other than avoiding men with a penchant for garlic who run ten miles a day, I'm afraid I have no other advice to offer you.  But I will forward your letter to the folks at "Head and Shoulders," maybe they can work it into their next ad campaign.

Dear People Like Us:
I'm a black Republican.  Actually I?m a Democrat who became a Republican to get a judgeship (Republican governor).  Now I'm a judge and want to revert back to being a Democrat but I'm told this would be a slap in the face of those who helped me and a detriment to any future promotions. I'm angry because the Republicans have paraded me as their "poster child" at more than enough events.  My husband says to blame it on him; he's a Democrat, although we told everyone he was Independent and voted for George Bush Sr. Is there any way to balance integrity and compensation?                                                               Signed, The Ball's in Your Court

Dear Balls:
For the sake of jurisprudence, let's closely examine the facts:  1.) You used THEM and now you're ticked off and tired of them using YOU. 2.) You want your husband to lie to help get you out of a situation he initially lied to help you get into. 3.) Now that you've been compensated for your deceit, you don't want it to compromise your "integrity."

Justice may be blind, but she's not stupid. And if, as the saying goes, "politics makes strange bedfellows" it's a little late for you to be thinking about changing the sheets. Sorry, but now that you've made your bed, it looks like you're just gonna have to continue to lie in it...which is a lesson for all of us:  whatever you have to do to get what you want is what you're going to have to continue to do to keep it; so before you strike a deal,  make sure your immediate gains won't leave you with long-term regrets. 

Dear People Like Us:

I get tired of being the one to point out why something is offensive to blacks, like when non-blacks use the word ghetto.  My skin crawls and I have to make a point sometimes by turning it on them, other times by making a joke or other times by getting ugly.  So how do we enlighten folks without feeling like we always have to explain ourselves?

                                                                               Signed, Tired

Dear Tired:

First let us say-GOOD FOR YOU!  You actually take time to explain.  That's the good news.  The bad news is if you're looking for a short cut on the long road of enlightening human beings the only formula we can suggest is Vitamin B - for endurance  (with a little calcium for patience).

 Those not-in-the-know are there because nobody explained.  The education of the human race about race is endless but not hopeless.  Every time you take time (to explain) we all come one step closer to a time when there is more understanding.

Then take a moment and ask yourself if what you feel is "offensive to blacks," as a majority, isn't possibly more about what's offensive to you personally.  

Our recommendation: Get plenty of sleep, drink lots of water and, as a being-of-free-will in the world of complexities, make your choice -- to Vitamin B or not to "B"?  For that is the question.  Hope yours is -- to "B", cause we need scores of people like you to make this a healthier and more multi-vitamin world.

 ________________

Dear People Like Us:

I'm a single, Jewish guy who's been invited to a Catholic wedding where High Mass will be part of the ceremony.  I know that Catholics do a lot of standing and kneeling during their services -- is it obligatory for me to participate?  Will I appear to be rude, or even worse, blasphemous if I don't?  I'm only 36, but I've got bad knees from old sports injuries.  If there's any chance that my "Ms. Right" might be in attendance, though, I don't want to blow making a good first impression by appearing to be an uncouth jerk. What should I do?

Signed, Pew-trified in DuPage County

Dear Pew:

            This is definitely a case of "Pew-er to the People."  If you feel that active participation in the ceremony would be injurious to life and limbs, by all means, sit this one out.  Any woman who would think harshly of you and not give you the benefit of the doubt is obviously judgmental, possibly self-righteous, and isn?t somebody you?d want to spend the rest of your life with.  So go, have fun, and Mazel Tov to the bride and groom!  By the way, we showed your letter to our friend, Annie, who is Jewish and a self-proclaimed "Yenta."  She says it's obvious that you're a very bright, well-mannered and sensitive young man, so if your "Ms. Right" doesn't show up at the wedding, she's got a niece, and she's a doctor.